Mum: Sunrise 21.12.45–Sunset 27.2.10 When Mum first came to the UK she spent time working as a nurse and with social services. I always had the feeling, when she mentioned these professions that she struggled with the bureaucracy, the rigidity and the lack of control working within bureaucratic and rigid organisations. Nevertheless, Mum was always passionate about her ‘Mankind Work’. Her experiences gave her a deep insight into the problems faced in particular by Africans living within the UK and a lifelong passion for working in her own way and on her own terms to help others. Mum was queen of drama. She loved it and studied it. She also personified it. She read the great English Literary greats and encouraged me to do so also. In particular she loved African Drama also. She has aspirations for writing herself and would spend time by herself writing. Mum also liked to act the Drama in the way she moved , the way she spoke, the way she held herself, the way she would hold up her head and then place it back and shake her hair. She was vibrant; she could not be ignored in any setting. Her presence completely and utterly filled a room. Her rich deep voice and wonderful laugh could be heard from a great distance. She wouldn’t have admitted it but she loved to be centre stage. Her skin would glow, this slow classy smile and she would gesticulate to emphasise her point and her bangles would clink together as she captivated her audience with her oratory. She loved nothing better than a good debate about anything and everything. Although she could be wonderfully dismissive when she thought she was hearing crap. She could say so much with a cut of an eye or a majestic turn of her head and, if she had to go further, with a putdown sentence. And if you really pushed it she was magnificent with her fire and passion. I noted that most people did indeed come back for more. That’s how special and unforgettable she was. In the early 80’s mum established and organisation in London called West African Welfare Association. Its offices were in Cricklwood. It is testament to Mum’s strength of character and ability to develop deep and lasting supportive friendships which enabled her to build this organisation right from scratch and run it with an iron fist. Mum knew and touched the lives of so many, black, white, male, female, old young. Mum showed me how to maintain friendships for a lifetime and that in the true love of a person you come to accept them for who they are in their entirety. She expected this from friends and family and showed us the way to do it. We have been heartened by the friends who have known mum for a life time and are devastated by her loss. It is a major mark of the passing of time and example of how time waits for no one and for me that things will not always occur at my convenience. Mum knew no distinction between work and home. There were often people staying with us in the family home for months at a time. Her hospitality was boundless. I grew up in a home where there was always an abundance of food, people, music, fresh flowers and fruit. I can see her now; walking tall, shoulders down, head back as if she had all the time in the world. And people would look, people would stand back to let her pass. She was a woman who would not be rushed; everything in her own time and in her own way, and yet she achieved so much. It’s hard to believe that we will never see her again in this life time. She instilled in me a sense of pride and self worth that only a woman/mother living by those standards can do. My love of books, music, fine dining and debate come from her. This is the environment in which I was raised. She was a highly intelligent charismatic beautiful woman. We are most grateful that we have inherited some of this. Mum’s passing is too soon and too sudden. So many things left unsaid, so many things I would have liked to shown her, but in some ways she has moved on in the same way in which she lived; dignified, uncompromising, no lingering and in control one final time, once and for all. I/we owe her a great deal. We truly hope that she is having the long awaited rest which she truly deserves. We will miss the continuous unbound less love that only a mother can have for her children. But we are comforted by the knowledge that where ever she is she will love us forever and always, and keep watching and sending us positivity and strength. There will never be anyone like our mother. Nobody will ever captivate and inspire me in the way that she did. We will miss you forever. Mum in her later years found great solace, comfort and joy in her belief in God. In this context we meditate on ancient funeral chant: I am the Resurrection and the life; He that believeth in me; Although he be dead shall live; And everyone that liveth, And believeth in me Shall not die for ever.